I'd like to talk a little bit about the seemingly dying art of hospitality (and graciousness to boot). The general definition of hospitality pertains mostly to kind and courteous treatment of guests and/or strangers, but to me it means a little something more. My southern belle neighbor definitely knows a little bit about this custom and has inspired me to pass it on...
She asked me to feed her fish and cat and water her garden while she and her family were visiting with relatives in Tennessee. I gladly agreed-they live just two doors down, so it's a pretty easy job-plus my little guy has actually enjoyed "helping" in the task. My first day of our "tasks" I noticed a package and a card on her dining room table with my name on it. Wouldn't you know it, she left me two loaves of homemade bread, a small painting of her husband's doing that I had been eyeing for months, a craft toy & summer toy for the kids along with a homemade card with a beautiful photograph on the front. All this for so little work? At first I was shocked, but then it sunk in... This is just like her-so giving, so caring, so kind. I am truly blessed to have this woman in my life as though she is (a teensy bit) younger than me, she is a great inspiration to me. That evening I made a small batch of chocolate caramel brownies to give to other neighbor/friends (have I mentioned how much I love our neighborhood?) that were kind enough to watch our little guy during my Grandmother's funeral the previous weekend. Pay it forward, right?
As much as I love my neighborhood, I think it has been going through some growing pains lately. We have new neighbors, that seem to have a different type of parenting style than the rest of the neighborhood. It seems pretty much like it's just let the kids run around all day without knowing where they are or what they're doing, followed by intense yelling. Many times we have had several children from this family (I think the Mommy babysits her nieces and nephews) pushing my kids out of the way to climb on my swing set without even asking if they may. We are trying to have a firm yet kind stand on this subject, so it's pretty much the rule now that you MUST ask first, and if you push, hit, swear or do anything else inappropriate, you have to go home. We are trying to give as much attention and praise (for positive behavior) as possible, as these children just seem to eat it up like they're starved for it. We are praying every night to find a way to make a difference.
On Sunday I feel my hospitality was put to the test with one of the little boys. He came over while my hubby, kids and I were out playing on the swing set. To look at him made me cringe a little as he had dirt caked all over his face and (I think) boogies hanging from his nose. He asked very politely if he could swing, and of course we said yes. One of our rules is that no kids may be on our swing set while no adults are supervising-at this point that was no problem as we were all out. However, I knew I needed to get down to the neighbors and water her plants, so I mentioned it to hubby. Half an hour later hubby said he was going to take my kids over to visit another neighbor, but neighbor boy wanted to swing a little longer. So, even though every part of me was itching to get my "jobs" done while my children were off and occupied with their Daddy, I stayed and talked with the little guy. I answered a lot of questions for him-like "What is sand?" and "What are seasons?" I felt like a bond was growing with this little guy and I no longer saw the dirt on his face, I saw an adorable little boy who is dying for attention and affection. After half an hour of chatting I decided I better get moving before suppertime, so I walked him home hand in hand. He wanted to ride a big wheel on his sidewalk and he said "Will you stay and watch me?" How could I resist? I told him I'd stay for just a few minutes more and watch him, but then I needed to get my jobs done. He rode down the block, turning back every few feet to make sure I was still there-I waved and smiled my best smile (the one I smile when my kids do amazing things) for him every time, and every time he smiled a huge smile and waved back. After a few minutes, I said goodbye and promised that as soon as my "jobs" were done, I'd come back and wave at him. I just felt like the kid might do well with having some promises kept (not that I know his parents or whether they keep promises, it's just the vibe I was getting from him). I came back and waved, and a few minutes later he was back at my swing set playing with my returned family. Not much later he was being yelled for and he had to go home (perhaps he didn't let them know he was leaving-even though I asked if he had?). He looked up at me and said "Will you PLEASE walk me home?" So, once again, hand in had we walked to his back path and he raced off to his house. I realized I was feeling pangs similar to the ones I felt when my daughter started school. I'm just so glad to know that kid, and I look forward to the opportunity to get to know him and the rest of the kids in his family better throughout the summer. What was looking like a dreary neighborhood forecast (and could still be-but I'm not paying it mind) for this summer is now looking like a silver lining-we can make a difference in a child's life.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Gray hairs galore.
I think my son is trying to give me about a zillion gray hairs. He is so fearless that I have assumed all of the fear myself and then some. I already mentioned how he chased a bird last week. Well since then he has also woken up before everyone else in the family, gone down to the kitchen gotten a strawberry and a knife to cut the stem off (since that's what Mommy always does). My hubby heard some scuffling, and found him with the knife on our couch "stabbing" it (thankfully it wasn't a sharp knife and didn't break through). Little man was nice enough to point out that it was okay that he was using the knife because it was "a small knife, Dad!".
Ugh-I can feel those gray hairs coming. Plus we're trying to teach him the importance of using our words instead of getting physical, ie: saying "I'm mad." instead of hitting someone. My daughter gave us a few scares at this age, but he has given us more scares in one week than I think she ever has given us! I know every child is different, and I love his moxie, but he is driving his Momma up the wall! I am watching him like a hawk, but he still manages to climb on everything and anything in his reach. I am SO happy that he is sleeping now so that I can relax (a little!). I think I'm going to go sit down with a (much deserved) glass of wine. I've attached a video of the kids at the park-notice how after the car honks, little guy looks back at Sis and then hits her with the stick. See why I'm getting gray?
Ugh-I can feel those gray hairs coming. Plus we're trying to teach him the importance of using our words instead of getting physical, ie: saying "I'm mad." instead of hitting someone. My daughter gave us a few scares at this age, but he has given us more scares in one week than I think she ever has given us! I know every child is different, and I love his moxie, but he is driving his Momma up the wall! I am watching him like a hawk, but he still manages to climb on everything and anything in his reach. I am SO happy that he is sleeping now so that I can relax (a little!). I think I'm going to go sit down with a (much deserved) glass of wine. I've attached a video of the kids at the park-notice how after the car honks, little guy looks back at Sis and then hits her with the stick. See why I'm getting gray?
Friday, May 22, 2009
Week's End Update
Hello Strangers! Sorry that it's taken me so long to post, it just has been a VERY long week. Let me give a quick rundown of the most memorable moments, and I'm off to be with family (you'll understand better in a moment)
1. I lost my little guy on Tuesday-we were outside painting, he was going toward the front of our house and I went to set down my paint roller to go get him-then he was gone. I cannot explain the gut wrenching feeling that overtook me. I searched frantically in the nearby yards, neighbors, and called my sister as I knew she was nearby also. Then, like a miracle he was there he told me that he was "chasing a bird" Little man was followed by a guardian angel-a senior man from one block down was following him and very forcefully reminded me of how bad I mother I was to lose my child. I didn't need any reminding-I felt like the worst mother in the whole world. Now I know what those mothers mean when they say "I just turned around for a minute." I still hyperventilate thinking about it now. I know a couple of very important things now- Junior is now not afraid to leave our yard or cross the street-so as they say in one of the Harry Potter books "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" (not that I was letting him run willy nilly before, but he's fearless and the next point is:) , little man is MUCH faster than I ever gave him credit for. I have never had this happen with my daughter (she's too pokey), so it's a new experience that I hope I NEVER have to go through again.
2. I got to chaperone at my daughter's school field trip-that was a fun experience, and I didn't lose a single child (seriously, I was on those poor seven year olds like flies on honey-they might have felt a little smothered, but too bad.) My girl said that it was the "best field trip ever". I 'd like to think that part of that was because I was able to go-if I was working that might not have been the case.
3. My grandmother passed away early yesterday. It's so hard to see my mother having to let go of her mother. She just stopped by and seems to be holding up well, but of course I worry-she's my mom. We are taking the kids over to her place for dinner tonight (one of her friends provided a big pot of sloppy joes and all the fixin's)-so I'm looking forward to getting to spend some more time with her. I wish I would have spent more time with my grandmother-I feel like I don't know who she was very well-that's probably what's the hardest for me.
Well, that's the three major bullet points of my week in random order-obviously I've had some frayed nerves and with the visitation/funeral happening tomorrow, there will be more to come. If you pray, say a little one for my family?
1. I lost my little guy on Tuesday-we were outside painting, he was going toward the front of our house and I went to set down my paint roller to go get him-then he was gone. I cannot explain the gut wrenching feeling that overtook me. I searched frantically in the nearby yards, neighbors, and called my sister as I knew she was nearby also. Then, like a miracle he was there he told me that he was "chasing a bird" Little man was followed by a guardian angel-a senior man from one block down was following him and very forcefully reminded me of how bad I mother I was to lose my child. I didn't need any reminding-I felt like the worst mother in the whole world. Now I know what those mothers mean when they say "I just turned around for a minute." I still hyperventilate thinking about it now. I know a couple of very important things now- Junior is now not afraid to leave our yard or cross the street-so as they say in one of the Harry Potter books "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" (not that I was letting him run willy nilly before, but he's fearless and the next point is:) , little man is MUCH faster than I ever gave him credit for. I have never had this happen with my daughter (she's too pokey), so it's a new experience that I hope I NEVER have to go through again.
2. I got to chaperone at my daughter's school field trip-that was a fun experience, and I didn't lose a single child (seriously, I was on those poor seven year olds like flies on honey-they might have felt a little smothered, but too bad.) My girl said that it was the "best field trip ever". I 'd like to think that part of that was because I was able to go-if I was working that might not have been the case.
3. My grandmother passed away early yesterday. It's so hard to see my mother having to let go of her mother. She just stopped by and seems to be holding up well, but of course I worry-she's my mom. We are taking the kids over to her place for dinner tonight (one of her friends provided a big pot of sloppy joes and all the fixin's)-so I'm looking forward to getting to spend some more time with her. I wish I would have spent more time with my grandmother-I feel like I don't know who she was very well-that's probably what's the hardest for me.
Well, that's the three major bullet points of my week in random order-obviously I've had some frayed nerves and with the visitation/funeral happening tomorrow, there will be more to come. If you pray, say a little one for my family?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
What I woke up to this morning.
Apparently the little guy was more alert this morning than the rest of the family. When our alarm went off (and my hubby hit the snooze like usual) I settled back in for our "Five more". I was just starting to drift off when I heard some noises coming from down in our dining room... Uh oh. On a school day (and really most days) this is NOT a welcoming sound. It means that either my seven year old woke up and decided to make breakfast for everyone instead of getting dressed and making her bed like she's supposed to do on school days OR the little rascal is foraging!
I made it down the stairs in double time to find him sitting at the dining room table with a cup with hot cocoa mix in it, dipping his fingers in it and also, a carton of ice cream (thankfully nearly empty to begin with). Of course he had chocolate all over his face! At least he had his dairy group. I think what cracked me up the most was that he was eating his ice cream with a miniature child's whisk.
It was definitely a way to wake up-not necessarily good, but a way. I actually had a hard time hiding my giggles while hubby explained to little guy why ice cream and cocoa aren't the best breakfast choices. So have a great night-and if you need a pick-me-up in the morning, there's always dry cocoa and ice cream-via whisk!
I made it down the stairs in double time to find him sitting at the dining room table with a cup with hot cocoa mix in it, dipping his fingers in it and also, a carton of ice cream (thankfully nearly empty to begin with). Of course he had chocolate all over his face! At least he had his dairy group. I think what cracked me up the most was that he was eating his ice cream with a miniature child's whisk.
It was definitely a way to wake up-not necessarily good, but a way. I actually had a hard time hiding my giggles while hubby explained to little guy why ice cream and cocoa aren't the best breakfast choices. So have a great night-and if you need a pick-me-up in the morning, there's always dry cocoa and ice cream-via whisk!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Rollercoaster of life.
Happy Mother's day to all the Momma's out there. I hope it was a good one for everyone. I've had kind of a crazy/weird/sad/busy week. Let me see if I can bring everyone up to speed.
First off, my Grandmother is in the hospital not doing well, they've called in Hospice. If anyone has lost a loved one, they might know what calling in Hospice means.. I visited her shortly yesterday morning and she was in a lot of pain at the time. It's very sad to watch this going on-I wasn't closest with my Grandmother, but I love her, and I hate seeing my Mother go through losing her Mother. Umm.... Not going to talk anymore about that right now, it makes me too sad..
On a bright note, my sister, my nephew and I had an interview with a reporter from the local paper about our Walk Now for Autism-happening this upcoming Saturday in Chicago. The article is set to print tomorrow, so I'm anxious to see how it turns out.
Another shining point in my week was taking my daughter to our church's Mother Daughter Banquet. This year the entertainment was a Talent Show. My daughter was slated to sing while her cousin played piano. She had been very nervous when she was first asked to perform, so I told her I would do something for the talent show, also. So, I've been practicing for weeks on my guitar. The big night was Friday, and I performed "Yellow" by Coldplay, a song that I have sung to my dear girl since she was just a somersaulter in my tummy. I admit that I messed up, but I kept going-and I was so proud to show my girl that it's okay to get out of your comfort zone and keep going. I was quite proud of my little singer, too-both the girls did a great job!
Today was another crazy day as my girl and her cousin hosted a bake sale after church to raise funds for our walk. Also, I was liturgist for the first time ever-talk about being out of my comfort zone this week! After church we had a quick lunch, then headed to one of our favorite parks to attempt a hike-I was actually surprised-the little guy handled it fairly well-though the hubby did have to carry him some. Everyone in our family was tired and a little cranky tonight, so it was early bedtime for everyone (apparently even hubby-he was snoring away while I watched a "chick flick").
While I sat in bed trying to read, then thinking about sleeping, but not even trying because I know it's not going to come to me right now, I just feel so jumbled with my emotions. I don't know whether I'm happy or sad. Why does life (and death) have to be so complicated-our emotions get to jumbled.... I'm usually the type of gal that wears her heart on her sleeve-you can usually tell exactly what I feel. Right this moment I'm just feeling alone. The house is too quiet (other than the snores). I'm almost contemplating waking hubby up, just so I can have a good listener to hear me.. Or even just his arms to hold me. I shouldn't wake him, but it IS still officially Mothers day for another 20 minutes, AND he failed to give me the one gift I asked him for (just to fix an old palm pilot of his that I like to play games on)-just plain forgot... We'll see, I might just have vented enough now to fall asleep on my own.
Anyways, hug your Mommas-they're precious commodities, and we're blessed to have them.
First off, my Grandmother is in the hospital not doing well, they've called in Hospice. If anyone has lost a loved one, they might know what calling in Hospice means.. I visited her shortly yesterday morning and she was in a lot of pain at the time. It's very sad to watch this going on-I wasn't closest with my Grandmother, but I love her, and I hate seeing my Mother go through losing her Mother. Umm.... Not going to talk anymore about that right now, it makes me too sad..
On a bright note, my sister, my nephew and I had an interview with a reporter from the local paper about our Walk Now for Autism-happening this upcoming Saturday in Chicago. The article is set to print tomorrow, so I'm anxious to see how it turns out.
Another shining point in my week was taking my daughter to our church's Mother Daughter Banquet. This year the entertainment was a Talent Show. My daughter was slated to sing while her cousin played piano. She had been very nervous when she was first asked to perform, so I told her I would do something for the talent show, also. So, I've been practicing for weeks on my guitar. The big night was Friday, and I performed "Yellow" by Coldplay, a song that I have sung to my dear girl since she was just a somersaulter in my tummy. I admit that I messed up, but I kept going-and I was so proud to show my girl that it's okay to get out of your comfort zone and keep going. I was quite proud of my little singer, too-both the girls did a great job!
Today was another crazy day as my girl and her cousin hosted a bake sale after church to raise funds for our walk. Also, I was liturgist for the first time ever-talk about being out of my comfort zone this week! After church we had a quick lunch, then headed to one of our favorite parks to attempt a hike-I was actually surprised-the little guy handled it fairly well-though the hubby did have to carry him some. Everyone in our family was tired and a little cranky tonight, so it was early bedtime for everyone (apparently even hubby-he was snoring away while I watched a "chick flick").
While I sat in bed trying to read, then thinking about sleeping, but not even trying because I know it's not going to come to me right now, I just feel so jumbled with my emotions. I don't know whether I'm happy or sad. Why does life (and death) have to be so complicated-our emotions get to jumbled.... I'm usually the type of gal that wears her heart on her sleeve-you can usually tell exactly what I feel. Right this moment I'm just feeling alone. The house is too quiet (other than the snores). I'm almost contemplating waking hubby up, just so I can have a good listener to hear me.. Or even just his arms to hold me. I shouldn't wake him, but it IS still officially Mothers day for another 20 minutes, AND he failed to give me the one gift I asked him for (just to fix an old palm pilot of his that I like to play games on)-just plain forgot... We'll see, I might just have vented enough now to fall asleep on my own.
Anyways, hug your Mommas-they're precious commodities, and we're blessed to have them.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Oxymorons
It seemed like this weekend was full of Oxymoron's. No, I don't mean dumb people who use that oxy cleaner, I mean when contradictory terms appear side by side.
For instance, we had the privilege of babysitting my niece (3) and nephew (1) yesterday. Since we had all of my father-in-law's grandkids here, we invited him to dinner. Also, we had most of the neighborhood kids in our yard for a neighborhood baseball game (I love my neighborhood!). So, preparing all the sides for dinner (hubby grilled the meat) while having the three youngest kids in the house & everyone whooping it up outside (Grandpa got to pitch)-that seemed a lot like organized chaos! We had so much fun-and the kids (and grown-ups) were wiped by bedtime.
Today we went to a barbecue at my sister's house and got to meet my mothers new friend (do I dare say boyfriend?). It was such a great day-we had great food, the kids played and got muddy, and the grown ups even played a short game of kickball. The best part of the day was a little later on-my sister had some CD's playing in the garage that my nephew loves. He is the special guy I mention in my post about Walking for Autism now. He got SO excited over some of the songs, he would dance and his smile was so huge. He'd be in this euphoric state and then he'd look at me, and I'd be there, too. The kid just takes my breath away-I love him so much! To add also that I was just having a blast playing with all of the kids this weekend-my own and the nieces and nephews (and my big kid-hubby too)..
It felt blissfully painful or painfully blissful. Just knowing that those moments are magic, and they don't last forever. I remember when I was a young girl, I LOVED the song "Puff the Magic Dragon". It would always make me cry. I was a child and not quite old enough to understand why it upset me so, but I know now it's because that song has put into words so beautifully the grief that you can feel over the undeniable passage of time-children grow up, parents grow old, parents eventually leave us...
I know this magic I felt might not be with us forever, and it's not like times are easy for everyone and/or anyone, but when I feel like my heart has gotten so full that its going to burst, I'm going to take a deep breath, take it all in and count my blessings.
For instance, we had the privilege of babysitting my niece (3) and nephew (1) yesterday. Since we had all of my father-in-law's grandkids here, we invited him to dinner. Also, we had most of the neighborhood kids in our yard for a neighborhood baseball game (I love my neighborhood!). So, preparing all the sides for dinner (hubby grilled the meat) while having the three youngest kids in the house & everyone whooping it up outside (Grandpa got to pitch)-that seemed a lot like organized chaos! We had so much fun-and the kids (and grown-ups) were wiped by bedtime.
Today we went to a barbecue at my sister's house and got to meet my mothers new friend (do I dare say boyfriend?). It was such a great day-we had great food, the kids played and got muddy, and the grown ups even played a short game of kickball. The best part of the day was a little later on-my sister had some CD's playing in the garage that my nephew loves. He is the special guy I mention in my post about Walking for Autism now. He got SO excited over some of the songs, he would dance and his smile was so huge. He'd be in this euphoric state and then he'd look at me, and I'd be there, too. The kid just takes my breath away-I love him so much! To add also that I was just having a blast playing with all of the kids this weekend-my own and the nieces and nephews (and my big kid-hubby too)..
It felt blissfully painful or painfully blissful. Just knowing that those moments are magic, and they don't last forever. I remember when I was a young girl, I LOVED the song "Puff the Magic Dragon". It would always make me cry. I was a child and not quite old enough to understand why it upset me so, but I know now it's because that song has put into words so beautifully the grief that you can feel over the undeniable passage of time-children grow up, parents grow old, parents eventually leave us...
I know this magic I felt might not be with us forever, and it's not like times are easy for everyone and/or anyone, but when I feel like my heart has gotten so full that its going to burst, I'm going to take a deep breath, take it all in and count my blessings.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Mother May I???
Happy May Day everyone! This first day of May, 2009 has brought about in me... Sheer exhaustion!! I have been a busy bee the past couple of weeks doing one or two spring cleaning items a day-which pretty much has taken up my "golden hour" of little guys naptime. Add to that the fact that we've been outside playing most of the afternoon/evening, (Plus I was up a little late with some girlfriends last night) I'm just beat!
This week I got to have lunch with one of my closest friends-a coworker from my old office. As she was venting (like we always would do) about stress, schedules, etc... I realized "Hey, I don't miss this at all!" Not that I don't miss her, and the other friends I made at my office, but the stress is not missed at all. The next day I stopped into the branch that my old boss works in to drop off a copy of my Autism Now letter (see Why I walk for Autism Now post)-it was kind of uncomfortable. She saw that I was carrying a folder, and I wonder if she thought I was going to beg for my old job.... It could just be me and my mindset, though. Oh well, not really a concern. It was nice getting to see old friends, but I'm doing just fine with my new "subordinates" (haha!)
And to confirm my realization about my new job, we gave out May baskets today! This is a huge deal considering that for the past 8 years, I have managed to get May baskets made, but it was always at the end of a stressful last day of the month (something quite significant in real estate in our area). This meant that though my kids may have enjoyed making and delivering the baskets-I was just going through the motions, just trying to get it done so that I could have "my time". This year I didn't even realize that it was the "end of the month" until April 30th. Not that I didn't know and prepare for May Day, just that the last day of the month means nothing to me now-it was just a Thursday.
It's kind of freeing to be able to just think about the family. We thoroughly enjoyed May day-and I'm one tired Momma!
This week I got to have lunch with one of my closest friends-a coworker from my old office. As she was venting (like we always would do) about stress, schedules, etc... I realized "Hey, I don't miss this at all!" Not that I don't miss her, and the other friends I made at my office, but the stress is not missed at all. The next day I stopped into the branch that my old boss works in to drop off a copy of my Autism Now letter (see Why I walk for Autism Now post)-it was kind of uncomfortable. She saw that I was carrying a folder, and I wonder if she thought I was going to beg for my old job.... It could just be me and my mindset, though. Oh well, not really a concern. It was nice getting to see old friends, but I'm doing just fine with my new "subordinates" (haha!)
And to confirm my realization about my new job, we gave out May baskets today! This is a huge deal considering that for the past 8 years, I have managed to get May baskets made, but it was always at the end of a stressful last day of the month (something quite significant in real estate in our area). This meant that though my kids may have enjoyed making and delivering the baskets-I was just going through the motions, just trying to get it done so that I could have "my time". This year I didn't even realize that it was the "end of the month" until April 30th. Not that I didn't know and prepare for May Day, just that the last day of the month means nothing to me now-it was just a Thursday.
It's kind of freeing to be able to just think about the family. We thoroughly enjoyed May day-and I'm one tired Momma!
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