Bittersweet Memories..

Am I the only person that is struggling with feeling both extremely happy and sad this week? While I am so thrilled that my darling daughter is starting 2nd grade this week-another milestone on her list this summer: new loft bed & room/learning to ride a bike/losing her two front teeth-awww... I just feel so sad that the school break is ending, too. I think this is largely because I start work at a temp job on Monday.

This is also a bittersweet notion. I am happy that I'll be working outside of the home for just a short amount of time. I am happy to be able to work with some of the people that I used to be in contact with at my old job. I am happy to get away so that I can appreciate my kids all the more (absence makes the heart grow fonder?) However, I am sad that after paying the babysitter her nominal fee (and I mean nominal-she is excellent and low priced) I will be making less than unemployment was paying me. I am sad that I will be away from my little guy 4 days a week-especially since big sis is starting school and it was getting back to just the two of us during the day. What it really boils down to is that overall I'm happy to help out a gentleman that I have a lot of respect for by temping at his office. If it weren't for that swing vote-I'd have turned down the offer and "tightened the belt" a wee bit more-it's going to be hard to be away from my kids that much!

I'm also very happy to provide my family with a... (ahem) clean and tidy house, clean clothes folded and put away, hot meals most nights and now even home baked bread. I am also so happy to take my children to all kinds of fun places: parks, zoos, pools, beaches... I wonder sometimes why these things are not appreciated nearly as much as the fact that as soon as Daddy walks in the door, he throws himself down on the floor to be trampled over. I also wonder why my two year old will tell me point blank that "no, you can't push me (on the swing)... Daddy do it." I know it is silly to let any of this bother me-I usually laugh about it. In fact my husband is every bit the father that I dreamed of for my children. I am SO LUCKY to have him in my life, in our lives. It's just hard sometimes to feel like the butler/maid/nanny waiting in the wings for the next request.

I'm sure this feeling will pass, especially next week when I'm a "working girl" again. I did speak with hubby and he is already agreeable to pitching in a bit more so that we can keep things on an even keel. How will it go? I'll keep you posted.